Promoting Mental Wellness

Caregivers usually don't start to think about "discipline" until that age where independence is developing.  Yes, those "terrific twos"!  But discipline really starts at birth or before. Discipline is not simply about consequences and rewards.  It is about learning how to self-regulate their energy?  The answer is so simple and yet so difficult to put into practice. Simply put, rituals and routines.  Rituals are developed through shared cultural beliefs and the consistent structure in how they are carried out is vital.  Rituals might be: praying before bed time, going to a place of worship on a regular basis, gathering around a dinner table on a daily or weekly basis.  Rituals give an infant a sense of belonging. 

Routines might or might not be culturally based, but they are consistent and structured. Typical rituals include bed time, bath time, meal times, nap time, clean up time, and potty time.  So when is the best time for all of these things? That depends on your infant!  When does your baby like to take naps, eat, sleep, take a bath? You and your infant can create a discipline plan together! Now what would Freud think about that? A lot of parents do this naturally.  For example, feed the baby before naptime,  change the diaper after naptime, put the baby to bed at a given time, wake up for feedings during certain times in the night, etc.

The older the child gets, the more flexible routines can become. Depending on your culture, rituals may not be as flexible.   When it comes to toddler mental wellness, a lot of parents ask about "problem behaviors." These behaviors might include but are not limited to: biting, hitting, "doing what you're told not to," crying excessively, wanting to be held excessively, or having a "tantrum".

Instead of trying to get rid of the behavior (through punishment), a caregiver/teacher might find it useful to ask many questions. What is the child trying to tell me or ask of me? When does the child act in a way that is socially inappropriate or a 'problem’? What is the response I want to see? How can I teach this to the child? Please contact me with further questions about how to manage toddler behavior! It is a topic I could write many books on!

If you have any comments, criticisms or ideas related to this article, please send them my way.  Please remember, that your contributions as a parent or professional are vital in the discussion and conception of "preventative mental health." 

Please send ideas, thoughts, comments, questions, articles, etc. to: chai.b.benson@babyawareness.